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Dearest Family and Friends,
My
husband and I are purchasing a house in
Brandville so that David and I will have
a place to start a new journey.
The
journey actually started for me around
eight months ago when David came to me
and told me that before the age of five
years old he has felt uncomfortable
about his body. He felt that he should
have been born a girl. He did not like
these feeling as they made him feel
confused, sad and lonely.
Imagine
a little boy, your little boy laying in
bed at night praying to God to please
let him wake up the next day a little
girl and correct the mistake that He had
made at birth. Not a pleasant thought.
Well,
he continues to feel that everything
about his life is wrong and that he can
no longer live the lie that he has been
living for the past 17 years. His
discomfort level with his body is such,
that he has tried to commit suicide on
more than one occasion and he will do so
if he is forced to live a life that does
not conform with his mind, his soul and
his spirit.
Through the years, to counteract and
hopefully change his feeling of being a
girl, David has tried desperately to
change his mental image of himself. He
played football, baseball, high school
track and of course ice and roller
hockey. He tried so hard that he
excelled in all. He finished his hockey
career with the award for the most
valuable goalie in the national
competition held in Iowa. He felt the
rougher the sport the less chance anyone
would find out about his secret.
You
see not only is Gender Identity Disorder
devastating to the individuals sense of
well being but it is the shame one feels
that is the hardest part to endure. It
is the shame that society puts on the
individual that they feel does not
conform to the so-called "norms".
The
ironic part of this is that the
professionals feel that this disorder is
biological in nature. So all this shame
for what? David has no control over this
feeling. Oh course, it is not a choice
regardless of what the causes are. In
order to get any kind of relief from
this gender dysphoria, the person must
either commit suicide, resign to live a
lie and be totally miserable for life or
have sex reassignment surgery. Not
something that sounds like a choice to
me.
Well,
being the parents that Steve and I are,
we have chosen to use our unconditional
love to show David that he will not be
destined to a life of misery. He will
have everything that is possible to make
his life easier and happier than even he
could have imagined in those dark and
lonely nights that he spent in the dark
crying and praying for a miracle that
could never happen. It took David an
incredible amount of courage and 16
years of his life to ask for the help
and understanding that is needed to
start the long and difficult transition
to become the person that David was
destined to become.
Well,
this brings me back to the journey that
David and I am about to embark. Once we
start this trip there is no turning
back. I say we because I will be with
David every step of the way. Just like I
would be if he had cancer or any other
devastating illness. I will not rest
until I see my sweet David transformed
into the girl that she so desires
I
understand that this will take you some
time getting used to, and I will be
happy to talk over with you any
questions or thoughts you may have about
any of this, but please don't feel sorry
for us. Yes, we are facing a difficult
situation but not one that is expected
to end in death or some other sad
scenario. We look at this as if a
butterfly was about to spread its wings.
A beautiful living creature is going
from being trapped in a dreadful dark
existence to a lovely bright being.
I
understand that you may question the
resolution that we have chosen but in my
hours and hours of research, and my
meetings with the professionals there is
no "cure". Or is there a chance that
these feelings will ever go away.
Nothing will ever change this, except
change.
So,
my dear friends and family, what I am
asking from you is compassion and
understanding of something that you may
never understand. I am asking that you
look into the eyes of your loved ones
and cherish the important things in life
and not get caught up in the "little"
things, because we never know what the
very next minute may bring to our lives.
One
other thing I ask is to please don't
treat us like lepers; we are very
comfortable talking about this to
anyone. We have educated ourselves
enough to answer any question you may
have about Gender Identity Disorder. We
are not embarrassed about this and we
hope that you will not be with us
either. We did not ask for this to
happen but with any other challenge that
God gives us, we pick up our cross and
bear it. If we can make you feel any
more comfortable about it, please let us
help you.
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