TS/TV/CD Love Blog - Because Of Your Uniqueness

There is much to be said for carrying a defensive item when dating or simply walking the streets alone at night. For a transgender individual finally dating as the real you can be exciting, but you musn’t let the thrill of the dating experience cloud your judgement. One of our other articles covers Dating Safely For Transgender, Transexual, Crossdresser and Transvestites You should make sure you read this article as it carries a bunch of top dating tips for the community.

Defensive Strategies

If your plans or thoughts about safety or self-defense include any sort of weapon, please consider training both to help you work through the question of whether this is right for you and, if it is, to give you basic skills in the safe use of it and an understanding of legal issues surrounding the use of force.

Some TS women can only scream loudly in their “boy voices,” and some are reluctant to do so, even in a potentially dangerous situation. A noisemaking device can be a real boost to the decibel level you can generate. A lot of larger hardware stores carry the stuff I’m talking about in this blog, but you might need to order them online. Here’s one place: http://www.securityplanet.com/

Noisemaking Devices (highly recommended)

• Whistles - Consider carrying a whistle or other noisemaker, and sound it loudly if you are accosted or feel threatened.Metal whistles that double as keychains are probably the best idea. If you’re in an area where you feel uncomfortable, have your whistle in your hand and ready. Hold your keys when going to and from your car, home and business. This will save time and give you some security in having protection.

Rape Alarms - There are pros and cons to these. They are loud which might scare an attacker off before they get to you, but they probably won’t be as effective at summoning help in some circumstances. Some come with a bright flashing strobe, which can also disorient an attacker long enough to get away.

• An advantage is that they are hand-operated and don’t require you to blow in them. A slight disadvantage is that they are sometimes a little on the bulky side, and they’re battery-operated, so you need to check the power regularly. A huge disadvantage is that many sound car alarms and might get ignored by bystanders.

• There are also aerosol-based products that are like the little air horns you hear at sports events, but with a whistle sound. The problem with these is they only hold a dozen or so short blasts, where the electronic devices emit a sound as long as the battery holds out.

  Pepper spray, tasers, and other incapacitating devices (less recommended)

• Remember that any device you carry for protection may be used AGAINST you. Select such security devices carefully. Pepper spray, tasers, etc. are somewhat controversial for this reason. Surprisingly, 15-20% of people will not be incapacitated even by a full-face spray. Also, if you’re carrying it in your purse, you will only waste time and alert the attacker to your intentions while you fumble for it.

• Never depend on any self-defense tool or weapon to stop an attacker. Trust your body and your wits, which you can always depend on in the event of an attack. A whistle will often scare someone off before an encounter even happens. Don’t just have it in your purse if you’re in a potentially unsafe situation. Have it out in your hand. If you feel threatened, blow your whistle, bang garbage cans, honk your horn, or shout “fire!” to attract attention.

  Knives, guns, and other deadly weapons (not recommended)

• Many gun owners are incapable of using their guns in a combat situation with sufficient expertise, either to prevent an armed criminal from taking innocent lives, or to be sure of not hitting bystanders with their own stray bullets. Just buying a gun will not protect you. You will need to pay for extensive training if you want to use it effectively.

• Most homicides involving guns occur between victims who knew each other. Having guns around greatly increases the chances you or someone you know will be hurt or killed by one, compared to households without guns.

• Suicides are the majority of gun deaths every year. I remember Dana Rivers on Oprah proclaiming with seemingly perverse pride that she knows what her revolver tastes like. Given the suicidal tendencies among some in the community, it seems like an extremely bad idea for many TG women to own guns.

• According to a 1998 FBI report, there were only 95 justifiable handgun killings in the U.S. that year, where people defending themselves encountered an assailant previously unknown to them. Out of 280 million people. More people are struck by lightning each year than use handguns for a justifiable homicide against a stranger.

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We came across some great dating tips for our transgendered community. The dating tips apply to crossdressers, transexuals and tranvestites alike, as their risk factors when datingcan increase due to their gender orientation.

• Find out who your date is.

• Ask for your date’s first and last name, where they work and live, and what they like and don’t like.

• Ask around to see if anyone knows the person.

• Introduce your date to others (e.g., your friends, the bartender.)

• Tell a friend where you’re going, or call your own answering machine as if you were calling a friend.

• Make sure your date knows you spread the word about them.

• Choose public places, such as malls or restaurants, for first meetings. Leave your date’s name and telephone number with someone.

• Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time when many people are present, and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present is often a fine choice.

• Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.

• Protect your valuables. Don’t carry extra cash.

• If you bring someone home, don’t leave your wallet, cash, or valuables in sight. Your possessions — and the person you brought home — could all be gone while you’re in the shower or asleep.

• Watch for red flags. Pay attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts at pressuring or controlling you.

• Are they acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior.

• You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:

  Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.

  Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.

  Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members. This is an especially big problem for TG women with tranny-chasers. Not only is it insulting and degrading, but it’s a sign that they are not secure with their own sexual identity. This might prove to be a serious problem at a later point, whether it’s heartbreak, or even a dangerous situation where they take their self-hatred out on you.

• If you decide to bring someone home, introduce her or him to a friend, acquaintance or bartender so that someone knows who you left with.

• Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive or run away. If you feel you are in danger call the police. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

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It appears that Germany is one of the few countries with an advanced view in respect to transgenders. There has been on their books a requirement that a man seeking legal recognition as a woman must obtain a divorce before having their new gender legally recognized.

In a landmark decision, Germany’s constitutional court has ruled that a man seeking legal recognition as a woman will be allowed to stay married to his wife in a landmark decision that further strengthens the rights of transsexuals. The court said that law violated a person’s basic rights.

The court ruled in favor of a man who was born in 1929 who has three adult children and had been married for 56 years. He underwent a sex-change operation in 2002 and wanted to be legally recognized as a woman but could not until a divorce took place. The wife of the transsexual also did not want the marriage to be dissolved, the court heard.

The court ruled Germany’s transsexual law must be changed by August 2009. It has made other rulings in favour of transsexuals in recent years.

There are about 1,000 transsexuals in Germany.

Technorati Tags: transgenders, Germany, transsexuals, transsexual

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