When it comes to cheating, men
are king. We cheat at cards, we cheat on our taxes, and far
too often, we cheat on our partners. According to the Ashley
Madison Agency, approximately 50% to 60% of men will engage
in an extramarital tryst at some point in their lives.
Our reasons are myriad, but
the tell-tale signs of propensity for infidelity are
typically the same. Gain insight into your own potential
cheating heart by reading the top 10 signs you're about to
have an affair.
You create a web of excuses
and stories
Once reticent and quiet, you've suddenly become a better
storyteller than Mother Goose. You never leave the house
without an alibi and you're constantly lying about the women
with whom you've been spending time. You haven't done
anything yet, but you're clearly preparing yourself for the
day when you do.
You feel trapped
You feel completely ensnared and you're not even sure how it
happened. One moment you were happily picking berries and
catching salmon in the river, the next you're concealed
behind glass in a five-foot enclosure and being viewed by
hundreds of grubby school kids every day. Like any trapped
animal, you likely resent your lack of freedom and are
anxious to return to the wild. Chances are you're also
terrified that if you stay with your current partner she
will be the last person you will ever have sex with (for
free, anyhow).
You are suddenly forgiving
of your cheating friends
Rather than condemning your buddies for cheating on their
partners, you find reasons to empathize. Sure, your best pal
might be having an affair, but his girlfriend had it coming
to her for putting on 10 pounds. So what if she was
pregnant? You share your friend's motivations and find
yourself able to rationalize even their most caveman-like
behavior.
You develop a relationship
with other women
It used to be the only time you truly opened up was when you
were screaming at your TV set during Monday Night
Football. Now all of a sudden you can't shut up. You
find yourself seeking out sympathetic women and telling them
all about your crumbling relationship. Be forewarned: Most
women eat this kind of conversation up faster than a bowl of
fat-free chips. Emotional affairs like these are only one
crying session and a couple of tequilas away from becoming a
full-fledged physical fling.
You keep your girlfriend a
secret
When speaking with other women, you find yourself concealing
the fact you have a girlfriend, even lying about her
existence when asked. You enjoy receiving attention from
these women and are reluctant to bring the conversation to a
halt by admitting you share your bed with a 200-pound
behemoth who's beginning to look more and more like her
mother every single day... or not.
You have
sexual thoughts of being with other women
Let's face it: If you're a living and breathing, red
meat-eating SportsCenter-watching man, you're bound
to entertain thoughts of having sex with other women. If you
didn't, no porn company in the world could ever operate in
the black. When your mind starts to wander, however, it's
only a matter of time before your body starts to follow. You
might even find you're unable to perform with your partner
unless you imagine she's someone else (Should that someone
else be Star Jones, you might want to rush into therapy
immediately).
You let your
girlfriend understand it's okay to cheat
By relaxing your moral code, you hope your partner will be
more understanding if she eventually catches you playing
nude Twister with the maid.
You suggest threesomes might be worth a shot, you tell
her that monogamy is overrated and you even try to
convincing her that you're 1/3 Mormon.
You search
for arousal elsewhere
You find yourself increasingly drawn to pornography and
strip joints, and not only for the chance to drink $10
beers and listen to "Wild Thing." The real issue, of course,
is that you're no longer aroused by your partner. Perhaps
you miss the spontaneity of when you first met, or maybe you
can't get the image of her Days of the Week underwear out of
your head. Whatever the reason, on those rare occasions you
still have sex, you find yourself going through the motions,
rushing through foreplay and finishing after only a few
minutes (rather than the full five minutes you usually
last).
You notice
ads for escorts & sign up to adult sites
You begin searching for women who are up for a good time and
are still eager to impress. These women might be less
attractive than your current partner, but at least they
still have that new girlfriend smell. After all, you're not
looking to settle down again, you're just looking to have
some no-strings-attached fun.
You pick up
women & get phone numbers
You increasingly find yourself at clubs and bars resorting
to your old tricks. You're turning on the charm, using your
old pickup lines and even bathing regularly again. Chances
are you're even more successful than before because you have
the safety net of a secure relationship to return to, and
the confidence that comes with it.
You put
yourself in prime situations for meeting women
You start enrolling in salsa and cooking classes... by
yourself. Perhaps you find reasons to work late and crunch
numbers with that attractive (and slightly dimwitted)
intern. Maybe you've even become the one male member of a
feminist book club. The point is you're beginning to play
the field more aggressively than Pete Rose.
Do these signs sound familiar?
These sudden -- and accumulative -- changes in your
personality, words and actions could mean you're planning to
run into the arms of another woman. Before you do, however,
remember that any relationship worth saving can be saved
through open and honest communication and that affairs,
however tempting, have the potential to blow up in your
face.
After all, once trust has been
lost, it can never fully be regained. In the end, remember
the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: "It is impossible for a
man to be cheated by anyone but himself." Proceed cautiously
in these delicate affairs of the heart.
